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Two weeks ago in these here pages Douglas Murray said it all about a US import we can do without. Alas, when Uncle Sam sneezes, the British bulldog gets the flu.

The scenes may be less dramatic in the UK, but the hypocrisy is the same, if not greater. Vienna Somebody once described Vienna as a top opera performed by understudies.

The remark was unquestionably witty, but utterly false when it was made. It is perfectly true today, however. During the year rule of the Habsburgs, Vienna reigned supreme, an opera sung by its greatest stars.

It is the present-day Vienna, which has lost its empire, its imperial family and its power, that is sung by the understudies.

Okay, close your eyes and imagine the Grand Canal with just a few gondolas and no behemoth floating horrors, the Bridge of Sighs without the crowds of visiting Chinese beneath it, the Spanish Steps with only Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck, and Vienna with no tourists but a solitary Harry Lime lurking in the shadows.

These dehumanising slabs of asphalt covering our continents are Prometheus-like chains that lure us into non-stop movement and uniformity.

It all began when Alexandra and I decided to visit my daughter and the new baby in Austria. It was my idea to drive there, the Swiss-German-Austrian borders having opened that very day.

When the wife suggested a chauffeur, I said no. That makes it children and grandchildren: six; yours truly: 0. Nothing to be proud of but I make up for it.

For example, after my father died I instructed the household always to refer to me as the GP. Gstaad The staff are back and all is well, as they used to say long ago in faraway places.

The gardener and the cleaner are Portuguese, and they greet me, with their inherent dignity, from afar. The Filipina maid and cook almost gets me in a headlock trying to thank me for keeping her on salary while she rested at home.

I shoo her away. Who does she take me for, a lowlife cheapskate like Philip Green? I tango well and can waltz, so all I need to do is grow a pencil-thin moustache.

He did not call it a virus, but a sickness of the brain. Micropoulaki in classical Greek translates as having a tiny willy.

Women should, by definition, be immune from the disease. But they are, strange as it may seem, known to suffer from it, although not as often and as badly as men do.

The symptoms are terrible: feverish envy, raging periods of jealousy, hysterical fulminations, foaming at the mouth, howling at the moon, blustering, and so on.

The prize is awarded every year to a man who casts convention aside and — lockdown or no lockdown — continues to shag his mistress and to hell with the coronavirus.

The professor has apologised but Antonia Staats, the mistress, has not. Neither of them has anything to feel sorry about.

When the urge comes, social distancing grows smaller, pardon the reverse pun. We all want to flatten the curve, and Ferguson did just that. Gstaad When indolence becomes intolerable, remembrances of things past become a lifesaver.

His recent item about his friend Lady Penn reminded me of events long ago that had slipped my mind because at the time I was under the influence and without sleep.

About 20 years ago, the designer Carolina Herrera rang to invite me to a dinner in New York for Prue Penn, who was staying with her and her husband.

My host looked shocked but Prue went on to say that I had been very funny and charming, dead drunk but all spruced up, had invited her to Badminton House for lunch, and as a kicker had also proposed introducing her to the King of Greece.

As Cole Porter might have said, only second-rate people go on and on about their inner lives. Self-analysis, according to Cole, is the twin of self-promotion.

So before any of you retreat into laptops and mobiles, some nostalgia is called for, starting in the spring of Many of the writers back then sent in their longhand-written copy via messenger, paid for by The Spectator.

My first editor, Alexander Chancellor, had assigned me the column on the advice of Simon Courtauld, the deputy editor and a social friend of mine.

Gstaad So the days — and months — drift by. This once peaceful Alpine town is packed with rich refugees fleeing the you-know-what.

They come from nearby cities crammed with real migrants. Two good friends have died, the village is supposed to be locked down, but God awful bikers are everywhere.

Yes, they are biking down the middle of narrow paths which makes it impossible to keep your distance from them. What boggles the mind is the mentality of the morons who refuse to practise social distancing.

Aristophanes was a comic genius long before the Marx Brothers, but he also gave good advice to the Athenians: stop the war!

In his play Lysistrata he had the women going on strike — no more nookie — until the men stopped fighting. During the plague that killed the greatest Athenian of them all, Pericles, Aristophanes advised the young to isolate, meditate and masturbate, advice still valid to this day.

Greece, with roughly the same population as Switzerland and faced with a surge of migrants turned loose by the dreaded Turks, has handled the crisis well.

The American media is using the virus crisis in order to attack Trump, but the Greek people will not tolerate such craven opportunism and dishonesty.

Criticism of the government is almost non-existent, as the suddenly wise populace is united against the unseen menace. I did the desert island bit around 30 years ago, when Sue Lawley was the presenter, and we got along fine, even after I commented on air that she had nice legs.

I suspect it would have been a different story today, but another good thing about the virus is that it has knocked MeToo off the front pages.

For good, I hope, but I doubt it. I was with my adored Prussian nanny and looked on in awe as they marched past us, in impeccable step, singing the haunting song about a girl left behind.

Desperately boring times but very healthy ones. No parties, no girls, not too much boozing, lots of smoking and reading very late into the night.

And non-stop training and sport. It seems very long ago but do any of you remember when people gave parties? Desperate times demand desperate measures and make for desperate columnists.

Meditation might be good for philosophers and their ilk, but correspondents need to get out and get the story. The only thing to report nowadays are the sleeping habits of cows — standing up — plough horses — ditto — and Swiss peasants, with one eye open in case some billionaire foreigner robs them of their hay.

Mind you, if too many people do it the Swiss will start charging for it. This is also enforced family time. According to her findings, a new owner of the sword had appeared in the West.

When she had fought Cervantes, Sophitia had destroyed one of the two swords he wielded. So what had happened to the other…?

Realizing she had missed her chance to end everything once and for all, Taki continued into Europe, intent on confronting Toki.

Things were even worse than she had expected: from what she was hearing, the Azure Knight might be an even tougher opponent than Cervantes… She made haste.

But she was stopped by Xianghua and sensed Krita-Yuga 's hidden power. Their fight was interupted by Kilik, who managed to control his Malfestation.

Seeing their potential, Taki warned the pair of Soul Edge's power and departed. After killing Cervantes, Taki brought Sophitia back to her home in Athens and treated her wounds.

But there was a shard of Soul Edge buried too close to Sophitia's heart, and pulling it out woud cause the death of the holy warrior.

Taki informed this to Cassandra , leaving Sophitia's younger sister in tears. At Ostrheinsburg, Taki stopped Ivy from confronting Nightmare, telling the alchemist that she's too weak and that she and her sword are connected to Soul Edge.

After a battle, Taki informed Ivy that she's the daughter of Cervantes and left the alchemist in distraught. When she confronted the Conduit for the first time, Taki fought them to ascertain their power.

After the fight, Taki saw that the Conduit has matured since their last encounter and allowed them to continue. Taki returns with her signature red bodysuit.

She also has her mask from Soulcalibur III. When she does a special attack or a Soul Charge , the pink bright symbols on her bodysuit will glow. She will also stop at nothing in eliminating those who are connected to the cursed sword, good or evil otherwise.

Taki's costume seems to be a mix of her different appearances with her Color 1 being her iconic red suit. Her Color 2 is a reminiscent of her blue costume in Soulcalibur III with the difference being the red metal plates as opposed to pale gold, as well as a red mask.

Taki has never shown a particular enthusiasm for the many missions requiring her sealing techniques, but she has shown a great interest in the forging and production of weapons.

She crafted in the ninja sword Rekki-Maru herself, then imbued it with the spiritual energy that allowed it to cut down even demons.

It was an indispensable companion during her many battles against supernatural beings. Rekki-Maru broke down during the battle with Soul Edge, but when Taki returned to Japan, she immediately set to work to forge the blade anew.

Mekki-Maru is a blade well worth caution. The fierce power sleeping within it is wreathed in mystery, and some even say the blade itself is cursed.

When she returned from her battle against Soul Edge, Taki attempted to fuse Mekki-Maru with a piece of the cursed sword she had recovered, but they were far more compatible than even she had expected.

Now, Mekki-Maru emanates an ominous aura, and Taki keeps it sheathed in a scabbard protected by powerful seals. This prevents the blade from breaking free and wreaking havoc, but only barely.

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The next day, her wish is somewhat granted, as she wakes up in a teenage boy's body in Tokyo named Taki Tachibana. Soon after, she realizes that they are switching bodies in their dreams, though Mitsuha is unaware that she was switching with Taki three years in the future, and that the Taki in her timeline didn't experience the switching and therefore didn't know who she was.

Mitsuha begins loving her life as Taki, where she treasures every moment. Although she feels as it is stressful at times due to Taki's part-time job at an Italian restaurant, she enjoys it either way and manages to get closer to Miki Okudera, Taki's crush.

They create rules to protect each other lifestyles and promises each other to leave reports as they communicate by writing messages on paper or their phones.

Although they are grateful towards each other at times for helping out in their respective lives, they also experience annoyance and bickering, often leaving insults on each other's skin.

One day, Mitsuha arranges a date between Taki and Okudera. She is happy for him, but the thought of them becoming a couple makes her cry as she had already fallen in love with him.

She then decides to go to Tokyo to find Taki and meet him in person. On her way there, she is having thoughts about how he would react when he would see her.

But when she tries to call him, it is to no avail, which makes Mitsuha hopeless and claim that they "could never meet". However, Mitsuha is certain that if they really saw each other, they would know right away, and continued the whole day searching for him.

Following an unsuccessful attempt to find Taki, a tired Mitsuha is waiting for her train in the evening. She nervously looks up at him and waits for a reaction, only to be surprised that he doesn't notice her at all.

Mitsuha calls out to him and asks if he remembers her, but Taki bluntly asks her who she is. Mitsuha is saddened by his answer, and although she doesn't further her inquiries, she is certain it was Taki whom she switched bodies with.

When she arrives at her station, Mitsuha goes away without saying anything, only to be stopped by Taki asking for her name.

She gives him her name as well as the braided cord she is wearing, which Taki would later wear as a good-luck charm.

When she returns, Mitsuha asks her grandmother to cut her hair due to her meeting with Taki. She then gets ready to attend the autumn festival, where the peak of the Comet Tiamat 's brightness would be visible.

Mitsuha, Sayaka, and Tessie go to an open area to watch the comet clearly. Suddenly, Mitsuha sees how the comet unexpectedly splits into two, and though the larger piece keeps moving, the smaller one crashes onto Earth and destroys the town.

In the process, it kills Mitsuha and most of the other Itomori residents. Three years later, Taki experienced the body-switching, though it was with the Mitsuha before the incident when she was alive.

Taki also had no idea about Itomori's state and that she had passed away. When Taki was on his date with Okudera that Mitsuha arranged, he sees a picture of Itomori at an exhibition and looks at it in awe.

He is then noted by Okudera that he is now in love with Mitsuha instead of her, whom he previously had a crush on. Taki blushes and tries to deny this, indicating that these statements are true.

After the date, Taki attempts to call Mitsuha and tell her about the disastrous date, but at the same time in Mitsuha's timeline, the comet struck and she perished.

Taki's switching with Mitsuha thereafter ceases, which leaves him in shock. Since he was unable to contact her in any way, Taki decides to meet her in person.

However, he didn't know the town's name so he solely relies on his memories of the town and draws different scenarios of Itomori.

After completing his drawings, he goes on a trip to find her, only to be hit with the shocking truth about Itomori's state and as he finds Mitsuha's name in the records of fatalities and discovers the date of the disaster.

Hoping to reconnect with her body and warn her of the comet strike, Taki goes on to the Miyamizu shrine in the "Underworld" to drink Mitsuha's kuchikamizake.

Taki then went through a dream sequence with Mitsuha's braided cord as a connection. He sees most of her life in the dream, including the time where Mitsuha, having fallen in love with him, met his past self while trying to meet him personally, until moments before her death.

Taki desperately tells Mitsuha to escape before the comet struck, and before seeing the comet strike in the dream, Taki wakes up in Mitsuha's body, making him overjoyed.

He immediately goes out to convince Sayaka and Tessie to help evacuate the town by cutting the power and broadcasting a false emergency alert, but the plan fails.

Taki thinks that Mitsuha would be able to succeed, and when he realizes that since he had fallen asleep in the Miyzmizu shrine, Mitsuha should be in his body since they are switching places, and starts to make his way there.

Meanwhile, Mitsuha wakes up in Taki's body in the Miyamizu shrine. She is surprised and wonders what Taki was doing in the shrine, and goes up to the crater; Goshintai , where she sees half of Itomori gone.

She realizes that at that moment three years ago, she had died when the comet struck, making her horrified. When Taki reaches the crater as the sun set they sense each other's presence but were separated by their different timelines by three years.

Hopelessly, as they watch the sun go down, Mitsuha and Taki return to their own bodies and are placed within the same timeline, commenting that it is " Kataware-doki ".

It surprises them both deeply upon seeing one another in person for the first time. Mitsuha begins crying and Taki explains that he is just as happy to see her.

He details the process he had to go through to save her, including drinking her kuchikamizake , to which Mitsuha comments on Taki being a pervert.

She also calls him out for touching her chest and he quickly apologizes. Jokes aside, Mitsuha realizes that Taki still had her braided cord around his wrist.

Taki explains that he had kept it for three years from the first day they met, and gives it back to Mitsuha to wear. After conversing, enjoying each other's company and treasuring their moments together, Taki explains to Mitsuha about his plan and that she has things to do.

Taki then suggests them to write each other's names on their hands so they would remember each other, to which she happily agrees to.

With Kataware-doki ending, Taki writes his name, but before Mitsuha can do the same, they are returned to their original timelines, with Mitsuha being sent back to to prevent the comet, and Taki to , trying not to forget Mitsuha's name.

Sad but hopeful about her situation with Taki, Mitsuha and Tessie continue with the plan set up by Taki; Tessie has set up explosives in a power plant so people would think that there was a fire, and would get the citizens to evacuate to Itomori High School for safety.

The plan is successful, and with Sayaka in the broadcasting room transmitting an evacuation warning, people start to proceed to the high school.

Meanwhile, Mitsuha and Tessie go to the festival and tell the remaining citizens to evacuate to the high school because of the explosion.

Because of their lack of time, Tessie calls out to Mitsuha, only to see her crying because she couldn't remember Taki's name.

Tessie tells her to go persuade her father to rally the town since they wouldn't be able to evacuate all the citizens by themselves. Mitsuha agrees and starts making her way to her father's office.

However, their plan starts falling apart when Sayaka gets caught leading the broadcast and Mitsuha's father sends out a new broadcast ordering the citizens to stay put.

Undeterred, Mitsuha proceeds to run to her father's office. Along the way, she tries to remember Taki's name and realizing she forgot it, she sees as the comet breaks off and that tragedy is about to strike.

Dazed and exhausted, she trips on a rock and falls. Suddenly, she remembers that Taki had told her that they should write their names on each other's hands so they wouldn't forget each other's names.

To her surprise, he had not written his name, but "I love you" instead. Mitsuha begins crying and she comments that she wouldn't be able to remember his name with only his message.

This gives her the motivation to prevent the tragedy though, so she continues to her father's office.

When she arrives there, her father is not very happy to see her. Despite this, she walks up to him with a very determined look on her face.

Moments later, the comet struck the town with most of it disappearing. Subsequently, it is revealed that every resident survived the comet.

This is because Mitsuha successfully convinced her father to evacuate all the citizens before the comet struck in the end. Although she was ecstatic due to being able to prevent the accident, she felt as though the one she most wanted to celebrate with wasn't there with her.

Following the destruction of Itomori, Mitsuha has moved to Tokyo with her family members and friends. By the time of , she is 25 years old, has graduated from university and been placed in a big company.

Mitsuha lives alone in an apartment which is decorated with "a bit of Itomori" that she brought with her. She says that once in a while when she wakes up, she finds herself unknowingly crying.

The feeling that she has lost something precious to her lingers around her for a long time after she wakes up.

She looks at her palm at times and remembers the message "I love you" that had been written there. She has had these feelings ever since the destruction of Itomori.

Mitsuha and Taki pass by each other a few times on the streets of Tokyo, but thinking they are mistaken, walks by. Time passes by, and during a spring day in , Mitsuha sees Taki when their trains draw parallel.

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